The Dreaming

Our family recently had the pleasure of going on a week-long winter vacation to Florida to visit family. The time away, the sun, the star-gazing, the beach jogs (while grandma watched the boy)... it was just what we needed to "check-in" with each other on life, our relationship, and where we want to be.

I was surprised to find how open and excited my love was toward exploring the unordinary and alternative. We both agreed that we are ready to move toward something new and to take more risks to reach our true callings. We imagined our family thriving and feeling alive and explored what things would change for us to be living closer to our collective potential. We talked about specific places where we could make this happen, including our current place of residence. Another place that spoke to our hearts: Guatemala, where we had traveled together over a decade ago.

During this little vacation, I also had the opportunity to read Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck, which provided a lot of great exercises to further clarify some deeper yearnings. Although the path is not entirely clear, I am getting better at recognizing the little feelings that arise within me in response to different thoughts or actions. The more I contemplate a family trip abroad, the more right it seems to feel.

Let me tell you about a little magic I experienced upon our recent return...

Our home in Portland Oregon was wonderful to come home to. It's amazing how just a week away can help you see your usual place with fresh eyes. We opened the doors and let the air in. I burned a little incense and brought lots of Daphne and Camelia flowers to our table and counter tops. We unpacked our bags and then started de-cluttering other areas of our home.

I found a wood-carved flute in the bottom of our boy's toy box. It was a flute that we had bought at a craft market in the Guatemalan Highlands. It was next to a bookmark that my mom had given me years and years ago... I had held on to it because of the message stitched into it: "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."

I took the flute downstairs and placed it near my work bag with the intention of bringing a little more of my dreams into the space that feels a little more stuck. At this moment, the sun shined through and illuminated a star carved into the center of the flute. With both hands on this work of art, I saw my firey "North Star" shining back at me!

I went back upstairs and started to clean a mirror-tray of my late grandmother's. It was sitting on the top of our dresser. As I wiped away the dust and peered into the reflection, I saw the exact same firey star glowing back up at me. It was reflecting a painting hanging above, on the wall - two lovers extending toward each other across a lake. It reminded me of the airplane ride the night before, when my partner had exclaimed that a clear lake was one of his most favorite things in the world.

The next day I went back to work. I placed the wooden flute where I would be reminded of these visions. I changed my work computer password into something that reminds me of these dreams.